game 1 -- wow, playoff facial hair is weird

Full disclosure? I live and die with the Boston Red Sox. You know, the 2004 WORLD CHAMPIONS. (Oh, wait, you knew already? What's that? Oh, you got sick of the media hype in January and you're tired of Red Sox fans? You just want us to shut up already? Well, guess what -- WE DON'T CARE.) So for me, the last two weeks have been a splendid opportunity to enjoy a playoff run without worrying about imminent cardiac arrest. Like Emmers, this is from the perspective of a somewhat-unbiased observer -- I'm pulling for the Astros because I love Brad Ausmus like Tara Reid loves Bacardi, but all I'm rooting for is seven games.

Some notes --

+ There is hair, there is playoff hair, and then there is Joe Crede's mullet.

+ Emmers didn't tell you this, but she'd totally date Ozzie Guillen. Like, she's not going to actively seek him out or anything, but if the situation arose, she wouldn't say no.

+ Jeff Bagwell now bears a strong resemblance to Fozzie Bear.

+ As mentioned earlier, I love Brad Ausmus, but I hate Brad Ausmus' playoff beard. It's very Grizzly Adams.

+ Another reason I'm rooting for the 'Stros? I cannot, in all good conscience, root for a team involving Carl Everett. Carl Everett was the butt of every joke my dad and I made for about three years. "YEAH, WELL, CARL EVERETT DOESN'T BELIEVE IN DINOSAURS! HOW ABOUT THAT?"

+ Jon Garland looks a little like The Rock.

AND FROM THE "TIM MCCARVER IS AN IDIOT" FILE:

+ "HEY, GUYS? DID YOU KNOW THAT JOSE CONTRERAS IS CUBAN? LET ME REITERATE THIS POINT SEVEN TIMES PER INNING!"

+ Apparently, Craig Biggio and Jeff Bagwell are the same person.

+ Bobby Jenks has a screw in his arm, and therefore is BIONIC.

Tomorrow -- same bat time, same bat channel.