Well, you know what I heard...
I love this time of year. Sports fans and journalists alike turn into high school girls, with their lives revolving around "who traded for who" rather than "which BFF stole Becca's totally hot BF." It's now July 26 and GM's have just five days to turn their teams around. Let's take a look at some of the goings-on.
Dodgers acquire RHP Dessens for Perez, prospects
Upon hearing this, I simply laughed. Basically, I'd love to be a fly on the wall in the Kansas City front office. "Ok, guys, here's the deal. We suck. We have the worst record in the League and we also happen to be in the toughest division. So here's the plan: We trade a mediocre pitcher for a flat-out atrocious one. I know! It's genius. Funny thing is, LA actually wanted to get rid of the guy. I can't understand it! Ya know what? Watch out, Detroit!!" Dessens wasn't great. This season, he's 5-7 with a 4.50 ERA. But Perez? Try 4-4 with a 6.83 ERA. I mean... wow. This is a guy who ESPN described as a "disgruntled left-hander." Way worse than Boston's acquisition of Jason Johnson. But wait, it gets better...
Brewers trade for Graffanino to shore up infield
So now you're thinking the Royals must have gotten somebody decent for Graffanino. Think again. The Brewers gave up Jorge de la Rosa, a relief pitcher currently on the DL who has an ERA of (wait for it... waaaait foooor iiiit) 8.60. Holy cow! Now THERE'S a pickup for your fantasy team!
Alfonso Soriano to *insert team here*
Who knows. First we're hearing that the Nationals and White Sox are close to an agreement, then word comes out that they're nowhere close and Nats GM Jim Bowden is shopping Soriano around the whole league. I wouldn't be surprised if Detroit and Minnesota get in on the bidding, although the Twins aren't exactly the richest team in the league and can't afford to overpay for anyone at this point.
Bobby Abreu to... the Sox?
Yesterday's big rumor was Trot Nixon for Abreu. Of course I love Trot but his contract is up at the end of the season and it doesn't look like the Red Sox will be resigning him, given his age and tailing numbers. So this trade would be HUGE for the Sox. Of course, every other team able to fork over a few million wants last year's Homerun Derby champ. Abreu's current team, the Phillies, wants someone just as good in return, preferably a pitcher, and that won't be easy. But hey, if history tells us anything, we can expect a shrewd GM to screw over the Phillies and bring each Philadelphia fan ever closer to a nervous breakdown and/or career as a serial killer.
Julio Lugo the wife beater
The Sox are interested. Count me among the thousands who think this guy is the creepiest person ever to walk out of a dugout. I can understand why the Sox would go after him but I don't agree with it. Alex Gonzalez is the best defensive shortstop in the league and his batting has improved tremendously as the season has progressed. Lugo has 16 stolen bases, compared to Gonzalez's 1, his BA is significantly higher, and he has four more homers. But... I'm sorry, I just really don't want this guy on my beloved team. Kudos to the D-Rays for unloading him, though. He makes $5 million a year and with B.J. Upton primed for the majors, they really don't need Lugo and his crazy eyes/rapist facial hair in Tampa much longer.
Miguel Tejada: The Orioles are listening
And that's about all they're doing. No way he'll be traded unless some team is desperate enough to send the O's several guys, including an impact player. Giving up Tejada for anything less than stellar would be the death knell on Baltimore's season, no question.
The last of the Big Three
Rumors about Barry Zito to the Mets are circulating. Word on the street is Billy Beane has a mancrush on Lastings Milledge (the rookie that high-fived fans on his way back to the dugout). The A's can't possibly make a decent playoff run if they trade Zito and don't get another pitcher in return, though. Billy obviously knows that, so it'll be interesting to see how this one pans out. Also in the back of Mr. Moneyball's mind: Zito's agent, Scott Bora$. Could the A's REALLY afford to keep him once the season ends? My guess is no. But the Mets could for sure cuz Omar Minaya is a big spenda. For reals.
*****
So there's my version of a sports gossip column. Forget People and US Weekly: Chickball is here to stay, killer layout and all.
Dodgers acquire RHP Dessens for Perez, prospects
Upon hearing this, I simply laughed. Basically, I'd love to be a fly on the wall in the Kansas City front office. "Ok, guys, here's the deal. We suck. We have the worst record in the League and we also happen to be in the toughest division. So here's the plan: We trade a mediocre pitcher for a flat-out atrocious one. I know! It's genius. Funny thing is, LA actually wanted to get rid of the guy. I can't understand it! Ya know what? Watch out, Detroit!!" Dessens wasn't great. This season, he's 5-7 with a 4.50 ERA. But Perez? Try 4-4 with a 6.83 ERA. I mean... wow. This is a guy who ESPN described as a "disgruntled left-hander." Way worse than Boston's acquisition of Jason Johnson. But wait, it gets better...
Brewers trade for Graffanino to shore up infield
So now you're thinking the Royals must have gotten somebody decent for Graffanino. Think again. The Brewers gave up Jorge de la Rosa, a relief pitcher currently on the DL who has an ERA of (wait for it... waaaait foooor iiiit) 8.60. Holy cow! Now THERE'S a pickup for your fantasy team!
Alfonso Soriano to *insert team here*
Who knows. First we're hearing that the Nationals and White Sox are close to an agreement, then word comes out that they're nowhere close and Nats GM Jim Bowden is shopping Soriano around the whole league. I wouldn't be surprised if Detroit and Minnesota get in on the bidding, although the Twins aren't exactly the richest team in the league and can't afford to overpay for anyone at this point.
Bobby Abreu to... the Sox?
Yesterday's big rumor was Trot Nixon for Abreu. Of course I love Trot but his contract is up at the end of the season and it doesn't look like the Red Sox will be resigning him, given his age and tailing numbers. So this trade would be HUGE for the Sox. Of course, every other team able to fork over a few million wants last year's Homerun Derby champ. Abreu's current team, the Phillies, wants someone just as good in return, preferably a pitcher, and that won't be easy. But hey, if history tells us anything, we can expect a shrewd GM to screw over the Phillies and bring each Philadelphia fan ever closer to a nervous breakdown and/or career as a serial killer.
Julio Lugo the wife beater
The Sox are interested. Count me among the thousands who think this guy is the creepiest person ever to walk out of a dugout. I can understand why the Sox would go after him but I don't agree with it. Alex Gonzalez is the best defensive shortstop in the league and his batting has improved tremendously as the season has progressed. Lugo has 16 stolen bases, compared to Gonzalez's 1, his BA is significantly higher, and he has four more homers. But... I'm sorry, I just really don't want this guy on my beloved team. Kudos to the D-Rays for unloading him, though. He makes $5 million a year and with B.J. Upton primed for the majors, they really don't need Lugo and his crazy eyes/rapist facial hair in Tampa much longer.
Miguel Tejada: The Orioles are listening
And that's about all they're doing. No way he'll be traded unless some team is desperate enough to send the O's several guys, including an impact player. Giving up Tejada for anything less than stellar would be the death knell on Baltimore's season, no question.
The last of the Big Three
Rumors about Barry Zito to the Mets are circulating. Word on the street is Billy Beane has a mancrush on Lastings Milledge (the rookie that high-fived fans on his way back to the dugout). The A's can't possibly make a decent playoff run if they trade Zito and don't get another pitcher in return, though. Billy obviously knows that, so it'll be interesting to see how this one pans out. Also in the back of Mr. Moneyball's mind: Zito's agent, Scott Bora$. Could the A's REALLY afford to keep him once the season ends? My guess is no. But the Mets could for sure cuz Omar Minaya is a big spenda. For reals.
*****
So there's my version of a sports gossip column. Forget People and US Weekly: Chickball is here to stay, killer layout and all.
posted by Pam at 10:45 AM
1 Comments:
The Mets/A's buzz is something along the lines of Zito & Witasick for Milledge & Heilman.
BILLY V. OMAR DEATHMATCH. I'd love it. Each is crazy in his own way.
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