So maybe it wasn't a good idea to date all those musicians, engineering majors, and pseudo-intellectuals
As I sat in my apartment tonight, conducting research for my paper on the experiences of female sports reporters and how that corresponds with the women's liberation movement of 1970s America, I came across an intriguing chapter in the book MediaSport. In "Watching Sports on Television: Audience Experience, Gender, Fanship, and Marriage," professors Lawrence Wenner and Walter Gantz discuss how/if men and women experience TV sports broadcasts in different ways. I read on to discover a section within the chapter entitled, "Television Sports and Marital Relationships."
To give some background on why all this interests me so much, I am, in fact, a female sports fan. And I made the discovery a couple years ago that I was unintentionally wearing College Guy Repellant to parties. Entering male-dominated conversations about last night's game or simply making it apparent that I could name more than five players on the Red Sox seemed to set off an alarm in the boys' heads: "Oh, okay. She's one of THOSE girls. She's cool to talk to but I think I'll go for that idiot blonde chick across the room." It was distressing. I'd have friends introducing me to guys as "the biggest sports fan I know" while I cringed, watching as the dude started to glance around the room for other prospects. Then, on one fateful day last summer, a guy I was interested in explained that he could never date someone like me, that men were intimidated by women who knew sports because that was traditionally male territory. Great. So my mother began to urge me to be more careful in my dating choices, stressing that I shouldn't go for the ones who had absolutely no interest in sports, the ones who rolled their eyes everytime I turned on the Sox game.
Somewhat amusing backstory: This resolution of Mom's came after a particularly horrifying night in which I let down a guy I was dating. While walking home...
Him: "I think Tom Brady lives around here someplace."
Me: "Oh yeah? How do you know that?"
Him: "I just do. Because I know all."
Me: "Mmhmm. Actually, I think Trot Nixon does, too."
Him: "Who's that?"
Me: "...You don't know who Trot Nixon is?"
Him: "Oh, what is he a baseball player? Well, that's why I didn't know. God, I hate baseball SO MUCH."
(The fact that he'd suggested our waiter that evening had Fetal Alcohol Syndrome and that the only way to get ahead in life was to "sleep your way to the top" made the whole breakup thing not-so-difficult. Yeah.)
But I digress.
Here were some conclusions Wenner and Gantz came to in their little study:
"In short, negative perceptions and resentment about the role of television sports in marriage, and discrepancies between partners in time spent viewing sports, can point to a marriage that is unsatisfying or in trouble. While disagreements over television sports are not likely to be the only indicant of such marital troubles, they may be an important element in a measuring stick for some marriages. A far greater amount of evidence argues for the positive or decidedly neutral roles that television sports spectatorship plays in marriage. While there are imbalances in how men and women feel about televised sports in their relationships, these imbalances may be no greater than others that couples have. Especially when spouses share time and interests over televised sports, the role it plays in marital life can be mutually beneficial."
Dare I say it? Is my mother right? Should I not roll my eyes anymore when her first question is, "Does he like sports?" Similarly, perhaps I shouldn't glare when she tells me, "I knew it wouldn't work out with you two. He didn't like baseball."
I guess I'm just totally thrown off by actual statistical evidence here, actual research by respectable professors who surveyed hundreds of couples and found that yes, if your mate enjoys watching sports as much as you do, it can only aid your relationship.
Who woulda thunk?
To give some background on why all this interests me so much, I am, in fact, a female sports fan. And I made the discovery a couple years ago that I was unintentionally wearing College Guy Repellant to parties. Entering male-dominated conversations about last night's game or simply making it apparent that I could name more than five players on the Red Sox seemed to set off an alarm in the boys' heads: "Oh, okay. She's one of THOSE girls. She's cool to talk to but I think I'll go for that idiot blonde chick across the room." It was distressing. I'd have friends introducing me to guys as "the biggest sports fan I know" while I cringed, watching as the dude started to glance around the room for other prospects. Then, on one fateful day last summer, a guy I was interested in explained that he could never date someone like me, that men were intimidated by women who knew sports because that was traditionally male territory. Great. So my mother began to urge me to be more careful in my dating choices, stressing that I shouldn't go for the ones who had absolutely no interest in sports, the ones who rolled their eyes everytime I turned on the Sox game.
Somewhat amusing backstory: This resolution of Mom's came after a particularly horrifying night in which I let down a guy I was dating. While walking home...
Him: "I think Tom Brady lives around here someplace."
Me: "Oh yeah? How do you know that?"
Him: "I just do. Because I know all."
Me: "Mmhmm. Actually, I think Trot Nixon does, too."
Him: "Who's that?"
Me: "...You don't know who Trot Nixon is?"
Him: "Oh, what is he a baseball player? Well, that's why I didn't know. God, I hate baseball SO MUCH."
(The fact that he'd suggested our waiter that evening had Fetal Alcohol Syndrome and that the only way to get ahead in life was to "sleep your way to the top" made the whole breakup thing not-so-difficult. Yeah.)
But I digress.
Here were some conclusions Wenner and Gantz came to in their little study:
"In short, negative perceptions and resentment about the role of television sports in marriage, and discrepancies between partners in time spent viewing sports, can point to a marriage that is unsatisfying or in trouble. While disagreements over television sports are not likely to be the only indicant of such marital troubles, they may be an important element in a measuring stick for some marriages. A far greater amount of evidence argues for the positive or decidedly neutral roles that television sports spectatorship plays in marriage. While there are imbalances in how men and women feel about televised sports in their relationships, these imbalances may be no greater than others that couples have. Especially when spouses share time and interests over televised sports, the role it plays in marital life can be mutually beneficial."
Dare I say it? Is my mother right? Should I not roll my eyes anymore when her first question is, "Does he like sports?" Similarly, perhaps I shouldn't glare when she tells me, "I knew it wouldn't work out with you two. He didn't like baseball."
I guess I'm just totally thrown off by actual statistical evidence here, actual research by respectable professors who surveyed hundreds of couples and found that yes, if your mate enjoys watching sports as much as you do, it can only aid your relationship.
Who woulda thunk?
posted by Pam at 10:36 PM
5 Comments:
Since my last comment was deep, well thoughtout, pseudo-intellectual, and therefore mocked, I can only say one thing:
You mean we're not supposed to be sleeping our way to the top? Damnit! I've been doing this all wrong...
Ha!
I think it was more... unintentional mocking.
yeah, actually, that makes a lot of sense to me. my boyfriend has no interest in sports whatsoever. hmm.
Well, I recently got a link to a book that statistical research shows that men are more likely to appreciate (and by that I mean want to marry) smarter women as they get older... I'm going to stick to the fact that our awesome sports senses are part of that towering intelligence, and when we get away from silly college boys we'll have them lined up around the block.
See, the crazy thing is that I have heard from all the men I know (and talk to about this stuff) that they consider themselves lucky or other guys lucky who have found girls who are sports fans. In short, guys are confusing.
~Kristen
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