Bill Simmons on ESPNU
Upon discovering that I do, in fact, get ESPNU, I decided to watch the St. Mary's-University of San Diego men's basketball game last night and check out the Sports Guy's second stint providing color commentary. Some observations...
- I didn't remember Simmons' voice being so nasal. Perhaps I was too star struck to notice the day I met him, but it no longer surprises me that they've kept him doing website work all these years.
- The game itself was fairly entertaining but wow, I thought BU basketball games had low attendance. This led to several jabs at USD's expense and Simmons providing a list of ways to increase attendance: among other things, give out free hot dogs to fans, relocate the team, and change the name from "USD Toreros" to "the San Diego Zoo." The lack of fans also led to Simmons spotting a guy in the stands completely decked out in Celtics apparel: "Look at that! Look! That guy HAS TO be wearing $250 worth of merchandise." The dude joined Simmons and play-by-play announcer Rob Stone at halftime. I'm convinced it was because of the Bird jersey and Simmons' mancrush on Larry Legend.
- ESPNU commercial spots are only a step up from what you'd see on TBS at 3 a.m. Ben Roethlisberger for Fatheads.com? Let me just say that a close-up of him yelling at the camera, "YOU CALLING ME A FATHEAD?!" was NOT pretty. And it wasn't even in HD. Also, Charles Barkley swearing by Coach McGee's Nothing But Net video ranked pretty high on the Unintentional Comedy Scale. It can be yours for just $19.95, kids. And if you call NOW, you'll get Nothing But Drills absolutely free!
- After this, I doubt we'll see the Sports Guy doing color for more than a couple games a year (if they invite him back), but kudos to ESPN for pairing him with Rob Stone. The two worked pretty well off each other and seemed to have a good time. Amusing dialogue exchanges...
Rob: "We're both married. But hey, our wives are likely to go at any time. And we're in California with these beautiful women around us."
Bill: [cautiously laughs]
Rob: "Your wife is Tivo-ing this game. You're in trouble already."
Bill: "I went to a school where ice cream day created the biggest line of girls in the dining hall."
Rob: "I went to a school where girls wore baseball hats and sweatshirts on campus. I mean, come on. Not good."
Bill: "Hard to get off, too."
*silence*
Rob: "...You're on your own there."
Bill: "I think when you don't have hair and shave it, it makes you feel stronger."
- I didn't remember Simmons' voice being so nasal. Perhaps I was too star struck to notice the day I met him, but it no longer surprises me that they've kept him doing website work all these years.
- The game itself was fairly entertaining but wow, I thought BU basketball games had low attendance. This led to several jabs at USD's expense and Simmons providing a list of ways to increase attendance: among other things, give out free hot dogs to fans, relocate the team, and change the name from "USD Toreros" to "the San Diego Zoo." The lack of fans also led to Simmons spotting a guy in the stands completely decked out in Celtics apparel: "Look at that! Look! That guy HAS TO be wearing $250 worth of merchandise." The dude joined Simmons and play-by-play announcer Rob Stone at halftime. I'm convinced it was because of the Bird jersey and Simmons' mancrush on Larry Legend.
- ESPNU commercial spots are only a step up from what you'd see on TBS at 3 a.m. Ben Roethlisberger for Fatheads.com? Let me just say that a close-up of him yelling at the camera, "YOU CALLING ME A FATHEAD?!" was NOT pretty. And it wasn't even in HD. Also, Charles Barkley swearing by Coach McGee's Nothing But Net video ranked pretty high on the Unintentional Comedy Scale. It can be yours for just $19.95, kids. And if you call NOW, you'll get Nothing But Drills absolutely free!
- After this, I doubt we'll see the Sports Guy doing color for more than a couple games a year (if they invite him back), but kudos to ESPN for pairing him with Rob Stone. The two worked pretty well off each other and seemed to have a good time. Amusing dialogue exchanges...
Rob: "We're both married. But hey, our wives are likely to go at any time. And we're in California with these beautiful women around us."
Bill: [cautiously laughs]
Rob: "Your wife is Tivo-ing this game. You're in trouble already."
Bill: "I went to a school where ice cream day created the biggest line of girls in the dining hall."
Rob: "I went to a school where girls wore baseball hats and sweatshirts on campus. I mean, come on. Not good."
Bill: "Hard to get off, too."
*silence*
Rob: "...You're on your own there."
Bill: "I think when you don't have hair and shave it, it makes you feel stronger."
posted by Pam at 2:33 PM
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