<3 Baseball

I saw this photo on BostonHerald.com earlier today and literally shuddered. Apparently, everyone's favorite ex-MLB GM is now the director of baseball operations for the new Israel Baseball League (IBL). I won't play the melodramatic card and claim Dan Duquette ruined my childhood but... well, you know.

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BASEBALL IS BACK! And so are the same story lines! What's that? Manny didn't show up to Fort Myers on time and he's a lazy bum? Haven't heard THAT one before. This year, though, fans are being treated to a new angle. After Julian "Sorry guys, I'm still here" Tavarez informed the team that Manny wouldn't be getting to camp until March 1, the media jumped all over #24, generating drama when in reality, there was virtually no problem there. Yes, everyone would have rather had him present for the first team workout. But he wasn't. And when he showed up a few days earlier than anticipated, journalists were forced to take a different approach. "Oh, uh, Manny's here already? What can we write about... Ooooh, I got it! Let's say he was mean to us and then people won't like him! Yeah!" Unbelievable. So Manny shows up to camp and doesn't talk to any journalists. Honestly, I'm not sure I would either if I'd been (supposedly) taking care of my mother who just had surgery while the Boston media smack talked me. One of the Globe's blogs said Manny spoke "sharply" to Jackie MacMullan in the clubhouse, while Dale Arnold (not even at Spring Training) said he "snapped" at her. As for the AP article on Manny's ST arrival, which called him "cheerful" among other things:

" 'Please move,' he told a reporter politely. 'I need some space.' "

Additionally, WEEI's Glenn Ordway said Manny showing up early is "suspicious." I give up. Boston drives me crazy sometimes.

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I'm finding the continuous Schilling/Shaughnessy tiff amusing. It can be summed up as such:

The Big Blowhard: "I think you're an asshole."
CHB: "Oh yeah? Well, I think YOU'RE an asshole, too! And now I shall fight you with my pen of virtue so all of Red Sox Nation hates you forever! Ha!"

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Just found out Sidney Ponson signed with the Twins and that makes me sad. Ranking fairly high on the Unintentional Comedy Scale is the fact that Ponson has yet to get a work visa from Aruba. Said Twins GM Terry Ryan, "We need this to happen now. We want him pitching. For him to make our ball club, he has to pitch. He can't miss starts and miss starts and not pitch. ... We're very serious about that." No offense Terry, but perhaps this is a blessing in disguise. Losing Liriano and Radke definitely put a couple holes in the Twins' pitching rotation, but patching things up by adding Ponson is, oh, I don't know... counterproductive? But hey, if you enjoy having players on your team who've been through alcohol rehab, taken anger management classes, and enjoy punching judges on Aruban Beaches, then perhaps Ponson is your man. Maybe Joe Christensen of the Mercury News is right: Ponson is just a multilingual guy who's misunderstood.

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Does anyone else think it's completely ridiculous that the Rangers gave Eric Gagne a guaranteed $6 million this season with $5 million in incentives? He had three great seasons and then become injury prone, to put it lightly. So the Dodgers decided they didn't want to exercise his $12-million option this season (smart) and the Rangers signed him (questionable). ESPN.com's Jerry Crasnick reports that the Rangers are giving Gagne "the latitude to train at his own pace." How nice. I wish I could have three stellar years working for a company, two completely crap ones in which I do little to no work, and then get paid millions of dollars by another business because they're sure I'll do better with them. In fact, they'll give me aaaaall the time I need to get back on my game rather than push me too hard. Maybe if Scott Boras is my agent, he could make that happen...

baby on board!

There are three reasons that the Tom Brady-Bridget Moynahan baby debacle is darkly hilarious to me.

1. Nobody likes their golden boys too golden, especially not me. Forget Clark Kent and Harry Potter; give me Lex Luthor and Draco Malfoy any day. (Or just Michael Rosenbaum. Mmmm, Michael Rosenbaum. Where was I?) Up until now, the worst thing Tom Brady ever did was forget to vote. I doubt the guy's ever even jaywalked. Nothing spices up a public image like a pregnancy scandal!

2. Bridget Moynahan once had the worst haircut in the history of ever. On a scale of one to ten, it was hideous. She looked more masculine than Clay Aiken, although that's not really saying much. I have no sympathy for anyone stupid enough to think that haircut looked good enough to keep for six months, and thus, I have no sympathy for Bridget Moynahan.

3. Moynahan is from Longmeadow, Massachusetts. I grew up in Palmer, Massachusetts, 20 minutes away by car but light-years away socially and economically. And a working-class Palmer girl likes nothing more than to mock a stuck-up Longmeadow rich-bitch, unless it's stealing a Ware girl's skanky boyfriend, losing her virginity in the sixth grade at the town water tower, or pretending she is from the Springfield ghetto and getting into faux-gang fights. (And you people wonder why I ran as far east as I could without actually going into the ocean.)

in news that ain't about britney shaving her entire damn head...

Baseball's back.

Man, it feels good to say that.

the bear says rawr, and so do i

*throws self off BU Bridge, is caught mid-fall and hauled into Boston Police HQ for questioning in connection with terrorist plot*

Oh my God, now I have to get a real boyfriend. Um, my name is Suzie, I'm a grad student, and I like kittens, sci-fi, and men who run baseball teams. Only general managers, CW television stars, and Rich Harden need apply.

In other news, the bear on the left can't keep his paws off of Payton Manning's junk --