Saturday, September 01, 2007

immediate no-no reaction

"Buchholz," an original number by Suzanne Brown and Jacqueline Hendries-Chretien, set to the tune of Amy Winehouse's "Rehab":

They asked me what happened at Fenway, and I said, "No-no, no?"
Yes, I been pissed, but when Markakis missed, I yelled, "Go, go, go!"
The O's didn't get a hit, and thanks to Pedroia's mitt
The rookie pitched like Nolan Ryan with that no-no, no?


I still can't get over Theo chest-bumping and man-groping Jed Hoyer immediately after strike three; Josh Beckett jumping over the dugout barrier and screaming "I'M SO PROUD OF YOU!"; Varitek straight-up lifting the kid like a blushing bride; Buchholz being completely unable to form complete English sentences; and the fact that the kid just pitched a friggin no-hitter in his second major-league game.

(Theo's being interviewed on Extra Innings as I type this, and I think he's kind of drunk, because he's acting like the organization just won an Oscar for this and he's in charge of delivering the acceptance speech. He just tried to name off every person who talked to Clay Buchholz before he was drafted and he definitely said "Ben Cherington" about four times before throwing off about five more names after a long, awkward pause. If he says the word "development" one more time, I'm going to start doing tequila shots. Sorry, Boy Wonder General Manager; you get married to someone who's not me, you lose snark immunity. Them's the breaks.)

...I'll take Buchholz over Joba Chamberlain every day and twice on Sundays. Can't we just sneak him onto the playoff roster, God willing?

7 Comments:

Blogger Jackie said...

*giggles madly*

The only downside: I am now terrified that lifting Buchholz is going to somehow cause Tek to throw out HIS back. Actually, nm, he probably can't help but lift with his legs. :D

Augh I am so fucking happy right now.

11:00 PM  
Blogger Patrick said...

Hey Suzie, just got home from this game. Most electric I've ever seen Fenway, and I was there for game 3 of the ALDS in 04. God, I can't wait for Bucholz to be a permanent part of the rotation, if he isn't already. For some reason I feel like Lester is never going to reach his potential as long as he struggles to throw strikes consistently.

1:36 AM  
Blogger Suzie said...

jackie -- LIFT, DRAGON! LIFT WITH VIGOR!

pat -- my uncontrollable jealousy abounds! it's been way too long since i've gotten this worked up over a game... i think '04 was the last time i felt like this (beth and i went to the 14-inning ALCS game 5 and i screamed so loudly the whole time that i sounded like a phone-sex operator for days afterwards).

watching the way ellsbury's tearing it up today, i can't wait for the Brand New Generation to make its way into the starting lineup... and i agree re: lester, but i'd like to see the kid have one full season with some personal and professional stability (i.e. not bouncing between AAA and MLB, not serving as a spot starter, etc.) before i pass final judgment. the potential there is enormous, but he's got to learn how to use it.

3:52 PM  
Blogger Patrick said...

Suzie, that is weird. I JUST watched that episode of Arrested Development today. "Swoop me!"

Yeah, you might be right on Lester, plus I was a bit drunk when I made that post. I read somewhere that other athletes that have come back from cancer didn't feel full strength until a year after they were done with treatments. Still, at the very least he is doing well enough to be a strong fifth starter (not to mention a left) on the rotation next year.

10:15 PM  
Blogger Suzie said...

"To the nuts! ...no, THE BRIDGE MIX! THE BRIDGE MIX, YOU FOOL!"

i've never felt this completely confident in our farm system's ability to breed and cultivate talent before. it's so reassuring! i'm practically salivating about the prospect of ellsbury and pedroia at the top of the lineup for quite some time.

10:31 PM  
Blogger Jackie said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

7:14 PM  
Blogger Jackie said...

I've been working on a follow up single, in light of recent events:

They tried to make me watch the Red Sox, and I said no, no, no/
Yeah, they've been great, but now, as of late, it's been "ohhhh, no. no."/
Cuz I ain't got the time/
and though Tom Caron says they're fine /
If you try to make me watch the Red Sox, I won't go go go.

I’d rather be back there in May/
At least before the All Star Break/
Cos there’s nothing, nothing you can tell me/
That I can't learn from 1978

Those Yankee fans, they don't have much class/
And I know they won't be nice as they pass

They’re tryin to make me watch the Red Sox /
I said no, no, no /
Yes I been jacked, but they don't come back
And it blow, blow, blows.

I ain't got the time /
And oh that bullpen's less than fine /
Don't try to make me watch the Red Sox, I won't go, go, go.

ESPN said, 'why you think you here?' /
I said, 'I got no idea' /
They're gonna, they're gonna lose the division /
So I always keep a bottle near

Said, 'I just think you’re depressed' /
Fuck this, these Red Sox
Let me rest

I’m tryin to make me watch the Red Sox /
I said no, no, no /
Yes I have faith, then Gagne blows the eighth /
I'm so low, low, low

I don’t ever wanna care again /
I just, ooo I just need a win /
I'm not gonna watch this week
Even though we have the D-Rays again

And it’s not just my pride /
It’s just til this rage subsides

They tried to make me watch the Red Sox, and I said no, no, no/
Yeah, they've been great, but man, as of late, it's been "ohhhh, no, no."/
Cuz I ain't got the time/
and though Tom Caron says they're fine /
If you try to make me watch the Red Sox, I won't go go go.

7:21 PM  

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