baby on board!
There are three reasons that the Tom Brady-Bridget Moynahan baby debacle is darkly hilarious to me.
1. Nobody likes their golden boys too golden, especially not me. Forget Clark Kent and Harry Potter; give me Lex Luthor and Draco Malfoy any day. (Or just Michael Rosenbaum. Mmmm, Michael Rosenbaum. Where was I?) Up until now, the worst thing Tom Brady ever did was forget to vote. I doubt the guy's ever even jaywalked. Nothing spices up a public image like a pregnancy scandal!
2. Bridget Moynahan once had the worst haircut in the history of ever. On a scale of one to ten, it was hideous. She looked more masculine than Clay Aiken, although that's not really saying much. I have no sympathy for anyone stupid enough to think that haircut looked good enough to keep for six months, and thus, I have no sympathy for Bridget Moynahan.
3. Moynahan is from Longmeadow, Massachusetts. I grew up in Palmer, Massachusetts, 20 minutes away by car but light-years away socially and economically. And a working-class Palmer girl likes nothing more than to mock a stuck-up Longmeadow rich-bitch, unless it's stealing a Ware girl's skanky boyfriend, losing her virginity in the sixth grade at the town water tower, or pretending she is from the Springfield ghetto and getting into faux-gang fights. (And you people wonder why I ran as far east as I could without actually going into the ocean.)
1. Nobody likes their golden boys too golden, especially not me. Forget Clark Kent and Harry Potter; give me Lex Luthor and Draco Malfoy any day. (Or just Michael Rosenbaum. Mmmm, Michael Rosenbaum. Where was I?) Up until now, the worst thing Tom Brady ever did was forget to vote. I doubt the guy's ever even jaywalked. Nothing spices up a public image like a pregnancy scandal!
2. Bridget Moynahan once had the worst haircut in the history of ever. On a scale of one to ten, it was hideous. She looked more masculine than Clay Aiken, although that's not really saying much. I have no sympathy for anyone stupid enough to think that haircut looked good enough to keep for six months, and thus, I have no sympathy for Bridget Moynahan.
3. Moynahan is from Longmeadow, Massachusetts. I grew up in Palmer, Massachusetts, 20 minutes away by car but light-years away socially and economically. And a working-class Palmer girl likes nothing more than to mock a stuck-up Longmeadow rich-bitch, unless it's stealing a Ware girl's skanky boyfriend, losing her virginity in the sixth grade at the town water tower, or pretending she is from the Springfield ghetto and getting into faux-gang fights. (And you people wonder why I ran as far east as I could without actually going into the ocean.)
posted by Suzie at 4:49 PM
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