you missed me, right?

contrary to popular belief, i haven't fallen off the map. i've just been busy. sorry.

anyway!! the bears got a first round bye for christmas. over the packers, which makes it sweeter. yes, the bears are in the playoffs for the first time since 2001 and everyone is getting their hopes up. i, however, am keeping a more level head because i watched the Best Football Game of '05 (ie colts at seahawks on saturday). the seahawks were practically flawless (although i didn't get to see the whole game because my dad turned into a girl in the not-writing-for-chickball way). so yeah, the bears ain't winnin superbowl xl. here's the rundown for the more baseball oriented people here, remember: 4 Divisions and 2 WC.

NFC
IN: NY Giants (E), Chicago Bears (N), Seattle Seahawks (W)
Possibles: Dallas Cowboys (E), Washington Redskins (E), Carolina Panthers (S), Tampa Bay Bucs (S)

AFC
IN: Indy Colts (S), Denver Broncos (W), Jacksonville Jaguars (S, WC), NE Patriots (E), Cinci Bengals (N)
Possibles: Kansas City Chiefs (W), Pittsburgh Steelers (N)

i want to see another colts-seahawks game, personally. but it would be pretty cool if the bears got there, huh? NO MUST RESIST. predictions on the possibles and the matchups are encouraged!!


so back to baseball (since this is a baseball community).

the cubs are thinking of trading prior for tejada. i don't think this will go through, since the o's are still pretty mad at the cubs about the whole sosa fiasco. i'm personally thinking it would be a bad move, because prior is still a really good pitcher that we need (since we really can't just stick zambrano on the mound for the whole season). on the other hand, the cubs have ZERO offense. err....

the anti-christ? meh.

Maybe it's the liquor, maybe it's all the Veronica Mars I just watched, or maybe it's just the all-consuming relief I feel at being done with finals, but I really don't care all that much about Johnny Damon heading to the Yankees for too much money over too many years.

I mean, really. I want to boil his noodle arm and serve it with pesto.

Okay, yeah, it's the liquor.

Anyway, I'm kind of okay with the idea of trading Bronson Arroyo to the Mariners for Jeremy Reed. Or kidnapping Brad Wilkerson. Discuss.

Johnny, why have you forsaken me?

So, Johnny Damon is headed to the Yanks, reportedly for $52 million over four years. I, for one, am not surprised at all. Disenchanted? Maybe. Disappointed? Yeah. But not surprised.

What I find intriguing about the situation is Yanks fans will most likely be just as unhappy/angry with the turn of events as Sox fans. This scruffy guy whom they hate is replacing their beloved Bernie. Oh, and he also has a pseudo-bum arm. Like, his shoulder is sort of a liability. And the opposing team might be able to tag up from second now. And it's unlikely that he'll be able to duplicate his 2005 standout season, so really we're not sure what we'll get from him. But we're overpaying him anyway to be on our team for the next four years!!

I want to bottle up Essence Of Scott Boras and sell it on the black market. Forget my journalism career, this is where the money's at. Who could resist a product that guarantees you'll get what you want, even if it seems ridiculous?

oldLOL

On Roger Clemens:

This could potentially be a conflict of interest for me, as old man Rocket is being considered by the Sox and was denied arbitration by the 'Stros. But if you'll allow me my soapbox for a few moments...

1. The Astros had no choice BUT to deny arbitration to the old man, because seriously, they could wait until forever (because it seems like he's going to live that long) and then he could just as easily drop them and retire for serious (or maybe he could be like Michael Jordan and retire and unretire forever), leaving the 'Stros stranded and looking foolish like last year when they waited forEVER on Beltran and then lost him to the free-spending Mets who have yet to actually see results from all that free-spending they do every year. Okay, back to the topic. Even with the denied arbitration, the Astros still did absolutely nothing at the winter meeings, and have yet to make any kind of big trade/buy/decision. Oooh, two-year agreement with Palmiero. Whoopee. They've missed most of the big free agents while they were making up their mind to even offer Rocket time. We need a bat, and, at least until May, we need another arm.

2. Clemens shouldn't go to Boston. It's not that I'm against having the man with the stats (see Suzie's entry below) in my Favorite City on Earth again, but: a) the man had hamstring injuries and a lot of other random (oh, no, wait, he's oldLOL) muscle pain. In case we haven't noticed, it's freezing for half the season in Boston, and our Soxies play in an outdoor park. I'm not thinking that's exactly the best idea for the old man with tight muscles. b) He has the sweetest setup ever with Houston. Didn't have to go on road trips he wasn't scheduled to pitch, lived at home with his family he apparently cares so much about, got to hang out with Koby and will hopefully get to help him get to the bigs, and pitched most of the season in an indoor park with climate control. Seriously, I wouldn't doubt that part of the reason he had so much trouble during the playoffs was because the Astros were playing in colder climates in late October. That, and the fact that normal 48 year-old men aren't throwing baseballs around every five days, and Mr. Clemens isn't exactly rail-thin.

3. Who knows, the man might actually retire this year. He was, after all, in a lot of pain at the end of the season (see #2), but he has, after all, retired before (see #1 and Michael Jordan). Either way, there's just way too much uncertainty. Let's (both teams) find someone younger, with a more stable health bill, and with good prospects for development and a bright future. I know it's risky, but Clemens will be a risk this year too - he is oldLOL for a reason, and he won't stay inhumanly capable of throwing that baseball so well forever. Unless, of course, he's a robot, which would bring up an entirely different argument.

4. Or here's another idea: Clemens doesn't sign, but then comes back to the 'Stros after the May 1 deadline. He'd get an extra month of rest and whatever else he needs to be rejuvinated, and then maybe he could actually make it through September and October without a perpetual limp. He'd still have his sweet deal with his "hometown team," the Astros could progress until then by adding new players without having to rely on him like they've tried to do the last two years, and the Sox could rebuild like they desperately need to without turning to an ancient relic to do so.

I should really never dedicate this much thought to Roger Clemens ever again. I really can't stand that man as a person, although as a pitcher, it would be a baseball sin to not respect him. So... how 'bout them O's?

because who wants to study when they can blog into the void?

Giants, Morris close to deal
FoxSports.Com, 12/11/05
The Giants and right-hander Matt Morris are close to a three-year deal worth about $25 million, FOXSports.com's Ken Rosenthal reports.

Uhm, what? Matt Morris at 3/$25m? Whatever Brian Sabean's smoking, I want some of it. No, wait, I don't. I do enough stupid things as it is. God damn, dude.

Red Sox discussing Clemens
Boston Globe, 12/11/05
The Red Sox have communicated with Roger Clemens's agents, the Hendricks brothers, over the past few days to express their interest in the future Hall of Famer if he elects to play in 2006.

Pam will say differently, but I am all over this. And not just for sentimental reasons having to do with my eleven-year-old self's broken heart when he signed with Toronto. Bring back one of the best pitchers ever to don the laundry, along with Beckett and a hopefully-rehabilitated Schilling, and I can start wasting more money I don't have on "2006 World Champions" merchandise. Good God, did you see the man last season? I don't care if he's oldLOL. We're talking about someone who put up an ERA+ of 221 at the age of 149 or whatever he is now. A.J. Burnett and Matt Morris are signing contracts far above what they'd be making in a more competitive market; why not go after Clemens and see what happens? We could have a wacky six-man rotation like the '97 Braves or something.

Ramirez offered for Tejada
Boston Globe, 12/10/05
One day after the Red Sox traded a former All-Star shortstop, Edgar Renteria, the club offered Manny Ramírez to the Baltimore Orioles for Miguel Tejada, arguably baseball's most dynamic shortstop, according to industry sources.

This deal, dissected and analyzed to death everywhere else, merits special mention on Chickball if only because my mom called me yesterday to talk about it. Usually, she calls to check that I'm still alive, that I'm still attending class, and to pass along juicy tidbits of gossip from the homestead, but yesterday, it was about possible Manny deals. (And to ask me if anyone was going to sign Kevin Millar. For unknown reasons, my mom really likes Kevin Millar. Hey, I don't ask questions. She got hit on by Ron Guidry once, though, which is kind of cool.)

And I quote: "Honey, I just don't care anymore. Manny wants out, let him out! I'm sick of him whining. If he didn't want people to pay attention to him, then he shouldn't have let the photographers into his house."

I am of two minds on this. Part of me agrees with my mom; Manny wants to be traded approximately every five seconds, so why not fulfill the request and make it someone else's problem? But part of me agrees with my dad, who was hollering something in the background and whose Manny jersey is so washed-out that it's practically purple; you can't replace that kind of production. Unless, of course, it's with Miguel Tejada. Apparently, he and David Ortiz are like BFFs or whatever, which is kind of neat. Speaking of David Ortiz, he winters in Wisconsin. I wonder what he thinks about the Packers these days. Why am I talking about this?

Sox work on return of Epstein
Boston Globe, 12/10/05
Red Sox ownership is working to bring back former general manager Theo Epstein in a consulting/advisory position, according to team sources.

This is the part of the post where I begin hoping against hope. COME BACK, THEO. YOUR DAD, WHO IS PRETTY MUCH THE MOST AWESOME PERSON EVER, IS WRITING ME A GRAD SCHOOL RECOMMENDATION AND SOMEHOW, I FEEL LIKE THIS SHOULD FACTOR INTO YOUR DECISION TO FULFILL MY CHRISTMAS WISH. Well, the one that doesn't involve the first season of Veronica Mars on DVD and a jack-in-the-box that looks like David Ortiz. (No, I'm serious. I want the Ortiz-in-a-Box like you wouldn't believe.)

Also, this needs to be discussed --
Shaquille O'Neal becomes Miami Beach cop
WLPG, 12/8/05
The newest police detective on Miami Beach won't be hard to find -- he's 7 feet 1 inch tall, and weighs more than 300 pounds. Miami Heat star Shaquille O'Neal took his official oath Thursday afternoon.

I really want to know who the hell would mess with Shaq. He might go all Kazaam! on your ass. But seriously, can we get a TV show about this? Law and Order: Shaq Fu would work well.

Thought for the evening

You know the Red Sox REALLY aren't happy with Edgar Renteria when...

they're "exploring" a deal that would bring Julio Lugo to the organization. Yes, that's Julio Lugo of creepy wife beater fame. He did bat .295 this past season for the Devil Rays but I'm not a fan.

And let me just say that I called this Renteria disaster last year when the Sox signed him to that ridiculous contract. We can dub it The Curse of the Great Cabrera because honestly, why did they not sign HIM? Comfortable in Boston: check. Reliable in the field: check. Good clubhouse presence: check. Fan favorite: check. Letting O.C. go to the Angels was one of Theo's poorer moves, and the Sox deserved the performance they received from Rent this season.

EDIT: Braves get Renteria, trade Marte. Anyone else wondering if the Sox regret trading Hanley now? I mean, getting Beckett was huge, but if they were even considering dealing Rent, they shouldn't have gotten rid of Hanley. That hole at shortstop is a bit disconcerting, and it will certainly be interesting to see who fills it. Perhaps Cabrera isn't so unrealistic anymore...

in other news...

Miscellany --

Dodgers tab Little as manager
Somewhere, Paul DePodesta is laughing his ass off. Giants fans are cheering. And if Grady Little can get a job, I'm really not going to worry about my postgrad prospects.

Sox to swap Mirabelli for Loretta
I like The Stud Who Hits Bombs, but I like Mark Loretta better. He saved my ass along with Willy Taveras on that one fantasy team that made Suzie's brain go boom this year. Thanks, Phantom General Manager! I hope you're Jed Hoyer in a silly hat.

Can I also point out that Chickball beat the Boston Globe to reporting this? Can I? Chickball reads the sports sections of the Herald and the ProJo, too. Take that, media cartel.

the world baseball classic! feel the excitement! it's gripping.

World Baseball Classic: Rosters

The Dominican Republic is going to pwn this thing, just so we're all clear on that. And technically, Barry Zito should be playing for the planet Jupiter.

Also, A-Rod has yet to pick a country. What, is he going to play for himse... oh, wait, never mind.

I really wish they'd do this sort of thing within the US -- like, divide it up by home state. California and Texas would eat everyone else, while Keith Foulke stood around going "Goddammit, why isn't anyone else from South Dakota?"

billy the kid goes to the big apple

So I'm a couple days late on this, but Billy Wagner has gone to the Mets for $10.75 million a year for the next four years. Considering how closers are such a rarity, and thus such a hot ticket on the hot stove this year, I could talk about that but I'm not going to. Anyone worth their salt in baseball should already know about that.

Billy was a 1st round draft pick for the Astros in 1993... and I met him his rookie season in '96. Actually, he came into one game in '95, but yeah really that doesn't count. I remember going to the mall's baseball card trading store (do those exist anymore, by the way? There used to be one in like every mall...) with my mom because she had seen an ad that Billy "the Kid" was going to be signing that day. I'd been to a Caminiti signing before (he was drunk/hungover/drugged), and I'd waited foreverrrr for that one. But at this signing, Billy was still a relative unknown, being a rookie, even though it seemed like everyone in the baseball world was already talking about his amazing fastball speed at 98,99, 100. There were about three people in front of me in line, and no one was behind me. I handed Billy my precious rookie card of him, and he signed it, and then he sat back and asked me, with that deep Southern drawl, "How're ya doin today?" I don't remember what I said but it started a short conversation with him and then some other dad came up behind us, so my mom and I said goodbye and then we left.

I don't know why I just told that story, but it's one I always remember, and I remember how nice he was, and how unassuming, and I definitely remember his drawl. I still have that baseball card in my collection with my many others, and I still remember the excitement I had after having a real conversation with a major leaguer. I was eleven, so I was still allowed have that "little kid, meet a sports star, be in awe" kind of attitude.

Billy's not been an Astro for several years now, but he's one of those players I've always followed closely, even since he got dumped by the 'Stros (although I can't totally say I blame them... I mean, just LOOK at the monster Lidge is). Now he's off to New York to be a Met (thank goodness not the other side), making major money and being the latest hot ticket item sold off. I hope he's still as nice and genteel and unassuming as he was 9 years ago. And I hope if some little kid asked him for his autograph, he'd give it to them and then ask, "How ya doin today?"

***

And in other news, the Red Sox are suing Mientkiewicz for the World Series ball. It's one year "on loan" period has ended and now Dougy wants it back. Seriously, guys, it's a ball. I mean, I know it has huge symbolic meaning and purposes and everything, but just give it up to the team. Or Cooperstown, which is probably a better idea. Then you can all just stop fighting and the Sox can focus their attention elsewhere - say, the lack of a GM. Well now, there's an idea.