Man, it's a hot one

In the midst of Julian Tavarez ruining what was a phenomenal game last night, I'm not as upset as I would be under normal circumstances. Last night's game was far from normal. If Red Sox batters are going to get their asses kicked, let it be against Johan Santana.

We witnessed not only a season-high 13 strikeout performance but also saw the 1000th strikeout of Santana's career (against David Ortiz, no less). Keep in mind that this guy is 27 years-old. Twenty. Seven. Watching him pitch gives me chills because it's obvious that history is in the making and our kids will be asking us someday if we remember the young, lights-out Johan Santana. Even he admitted to last night's incredible outing: "I've been in some games where I feel that I've done a good job, but tonight was special."

And let me just say that watching the combination of Santana with Joe Mauer made things that much more wonderful. (Someone better keep an eye on me at work or else I might go through all our file footage and create my own personal montage of Mauer, which would be far superior to the folder of photos currently saved on my computer. I mean, uhh, Joe Mauer? Who's that? Is he a racecar driver or something because I certainly don't have a picture of him on my desktop...)

On another note, does NESN think it's clever by playing Santana and Rob Thomas's "Smooth" before the game? "Wow, this pitcher has the same name as that musician guy. Let's use one of his songs. Yeah! We're wicked smaht." It's on par with ESPN playing Led Zeppelin's "Kashmir" during Scott Kazmir outings, but I won't argue with that one because it's an excuse to play Led Zeppelin. Plus, they're ESPN and they can get away with stuff like that. NESN, on the other hand... shall we get into the fact that the station often runs worse than community access television? Anyone who caught the pre-game report yesterday would have been horrified with the plethora of mishaps. And I hate hate HATE how the studio sounds echo-y. Yeah, okay, they recently moved to a new "state of the art" studio in Watertown and are still working out the kinks, but they can't get the acoustics right for their highest rated show? Please. They have a huge viewing audience and the crap that goes on there (plus the cruddy talent *coughHAZELMAEcough*) are totally uncalled for. It is, however, always fun to turn on the pre- and post-game shows just to see what washed up or retired ball player they've selected as co-host for that day's broadcast. Last night: Dave McCarty, who exhibited about as much enthusiasm as an insomniac flipping through the channels at 3 a.m., only to find yet another rerun of the Golden Girls. I love the Eck, Gary DiSarcina is getting better, and Jim Rice needs to seriously reconsider his wardrobe choices.

Ok. I'm done.

In conclusion, Santana is an animal, Julian Tavarez and his fellow minions of crap relief pitching can jump off the Zakim Bridge for all I care, and the Red Sox should play the Twins more often. I mean, the presence of Joe Mauer would significantly boost TV ratings among females in New England. Joe Nathan isn't so bad either...