because you all wanted to hear barry zito warbling about meeting girls in bars
Pujols out with strained right oblique; Cards slugger likely headed to disabled list
Apparently, he's mortal after all. And as his owner in the East Coast Faction Fantasy League, I'm pretty damn annoyed right about now.
On to happier subjects. For instance, the Oakland Athletics' sudden rebound from the Pit of Despair. (If y'all didn't know already, I'm a pretty big A's fan and I'm not entirely sure why. The team hotness factor can't account for why I find myself rooting for Marco Scutaro with almost the same intensity with which I root for Mark Loretta. Maybe I was Chuck Finley in a past life. It's weird -- about three times each semester, I get asked if I'm from California because I like the A's and say "dude" a lot and wear flip-flops constantly. For the record, I was born and raised in Massachusetts and I've never been west of Syracuse.)
Did you kids see my boy Zito on Thursday? Third-lowest ERA in the AL at 2.87, baby. I love my West Coast hippie left-handed curveballer from Jupiter, for serious, even if he did date Alyssa Milano for about three months longer than he should have. I've had mad love for Zito ever since he shut down the Yankees in the 2000 playoffs, and that was before I knew about the stuffed animals and pink pillows and NOFX CDs and hilarious guitar playing.
Oh, what's that? You want me to elaborate on that last part? Well, okay, if you insist. Barry Zito plays the guitar very poorly and while wearing hilarious pants, but he does it with such intensity that you can't help but enjoy it even if he sounds like the poor man's John Mayer. He tried to teach everyone else in the Oakland clubhouse how to play, but the only one who paid attention was Richie Harden. Richie is currently teaching Huston Street how to play, and that's just one big long chain of hot pitcher booty, if you ask me. Anyway. Zito used to perform with his sister's band, The Sally Zito Project, and his most notable song is a little number called "The Boy Next Door," available for download on the website. Lyrics include:
You look at me
Like I just slept with your mother
Don't judge me 'cause I could be your brother
And I bet your dad would love me too
and
I won't go too far
I got two sisters
And I know how girls can be
Stephen Sondheim he is not.
Anyway, the whole thing just makes me burst into stupid girl giggles, so I give Barry Zito serious props for doing something no other ballplayer can do these days -- be completely ridiculous and smoking hot at the same time.
Apparently, he's mortal after all. And as his owner in the East Coast Faction Fantasy League, I'm pretty damn annoyed right about now.
On to happier subjects. For instance, the Oakland Athletics' sudden rebound from the Pit of Despair. (If y'all didn't know already, I'm a pretty big A's fan and I'm not entirely sure why. The team hotness factor can't account for why I find myself rooting for Marco Scutaro with almost the same intensity with which I root for Mark Loretta. Maybe I was Chuck Finley in a past life. It's weird -- about three times each semester, I get asked if I'm from California because I like the A's and say "dude" a lot and wear flip-flops constantly. For the record, I was born and raised in Massachusetts and I've never been west of Syracuse.)
Did you kids see my boy Zito on Thursday? Third-lowest ERA in the AL at 2.87, baby. I love my West Coast hippie left-handed curveballer from Jupiter, for serious, even if he did date Alyssa Milano for about three months longer than he should have. I've had mad love for Zito ever since he shut down the Yankees in the 2000 playoffs, and that was before I knew about the stuffed animals and pink pillows and NOFX CDs and hilarious guitar playing.
Oh, what's that? You want me to elaborate on that last part? Well, okay, if you insist. Barry Zito plays the guitar very poorly and while wearing hilarious pants, but he does it with such intensity that you can't help but enjoy it even if he sounds like the poor man's John Mayer. He tried to teach everyone else in the Oakland clubhouse how to play, but the only one who paid attention was Richie Harden. Richie is currently teaching Huston Street how to play, and that's just one big long chain of hot pitcher booty, if you ask me. Anyway. Zito used to perform with his sister's band, The Sally Zito Project, and his most notable song is a little number called "The Boy Next Door," available for download on the website. Lyrics include:
You look at me
Like I just slept with your mother
Don't judge me 'cause I could be your brother
And I bet your dad would love me too
and
I won't go too far
I got two sisters
And I know how girls can be
Stephen Sondheim he is not.
Anyway, the whole thing just makes me burst into stupid girl giggles, so I give Barry Zito serious props for doing something no other ballplayer can do these days -- be completely ridiculous and smoking hot at the same time.
posted by Suzie at 9:25 PM
2 Comments:
...Were you tipsy when you wrote up this post? ;o)
If I say "no," will you believe me?
Chickball: Women, Sports, and did we mention Beer?
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