Game 1...
One of our readers suggested we do a sort of running diary a la Bill Simmons. Sure, why not?
7:32 p.m. I turn on the television to discover Jeanne Zelasko, Kevin Kennedy, and… Eric Byrnes. For five seconds, I wonder how this will go down. Then Byrnes opens his mouth and begins to act like an awe-struck, overexcited 17-year-old boy. “I NEVER THOUGHT I’D BE HERE WITH YOU GUYS!” My roommate asks me who the crazy person on TV is. Then suggests he might be on speed. Agreed.
7:36 p.m. Another commercial for the Borat movie. I am SO EXCITED about this. The Not Jokes scene in the trailer? Basically, I hadn’t laughed that hard in a loooong time. November 3rd can’t come soon enough.
7:53 Bob Seger does the National Anthem. Completely awful. I didn’t realize he attended the Bad Karaoke Vocal Academy.
7:58 Joe Buck tells us Tim McCarver will be joining him in just a moment. Where the hell is he? Gelling his hair? Downing a glass of scotch? Arguing with someone about Vladimir Guerrero’s wingspan?
7:59 Okay, he’s here. *phew*
8:02 I hate hate HATE that Pepsi commercial with Jimmy Fallon and Parker Posey. Hate the song, hate their dancing, hate the throw-her-up-in-the-air-and-she-disappears thing. It’s been on TV long enough.
8:10 p.m. Justin Verlander fans Albert Pujols. This illustrates how I assume the series will go.
8:12 That Star Trek DirecTV ad is on again. My mom loves it. Each time it comes on, she laughs as if seeing it for the first time... kind of like me with that Theo Epstein/Johnny Damon Dunkin' Donuts commercial from a couple years ago.
8:23 Yadier Molina visits the mound AGAIN. Anthony Reyes is obviously rattled.
8:24 Carlos Guillen singles to right! Craig Monroe scores! Juan Encarnacion commits an error! Runners move up to second and third! No one saw any of this happening!
8:31 All these people in the stands with elaborate cat facepaint are creeping me out.
8:32 Scott Rolen homers, making it 1-1. Dear Scott: Are you and Tony speaking now?? Because the media is, like, REALLY concerned about this!
8:46 Catch up on some Page 2. I kind of have a huge crush on contributor DJ Gallo.
8:50 Chris Duncan again? Who is this guy?
8:50 (still) Two-run blast by Albert Pujols makes the score 4-1. Why did they pitch to him?
8:52 Camera zooms in on Verlander walking off the mound, mouthing the f-word, much like the entire population of Detroit.
9:07 Can someone explain the Tony La Russa sunglasses thing to me?
9:11 Strikeout #6 for Verlander. If only he didn't have those four earned runs.
9:12 My brother wants to go out for ice cream. I’m not arguing.
9:55 “… 7 to 1? WHAT THE %#*@ HAPPENED??!!”
11:00 Anthony Reyes: "I don't know if I can top this."
...Yeah, neither do I.
7:32 p.m. I turn on the television to discover Jeanne Zelasko, Kevin Kennedy, and… Eric Byrnes. For five seconds, I wonder how this will go down. Then Byrnes opens his mouth and begins to act like an awe-struck, overexcited 17-year-old boy. “I NEVER THOUGHT I’D BE HERE WITH YOU GUYS!” My roommate asks me who the crazy person on TV is. Then suggests he might be on speed. Agreed.
7:36 p.m. Another commercial for the Borat movie. I am SO EXCITED about this. The Not Jokes scene in the trailer? Basically, I hadn’t laughed that hard in a loooong time. November 3rd can’t come soon enough.
7:53 Bob Seger does the National Anthem. Completely awful. I didn’t realize he attended the Bad Karaoke Vocal Academy.
7:58 Joe Buck tells us Tim McCarver will be joining him in just a moment. Where the hell is he? Gelling his hair? Downing a glass of scotch? Arguing with someone about Vladimir Guerrero’s wingspan?
7:59 Okay, he’s here. *phew*
8:02 I hate hate HATE that Pepsi commercial with Jimmy Fallon and Parker Posey. Hate the song, hate their dancing, hate the throw-her-up-in-the-air-and-she-disappears thing. It’s been on TV long enough.
8:10 p.m. Justin Verlander fans Albert Pujols. This illustrates how I assume the series will go.
8:12 That Star Trek DirecTV ad is on again. My mom loves it. Each time it comes on, she laughs as if seeing it for the first time... kind of like me with that Theo Epstein/Johnny Damon Dunkin' Donuts commercial from a couple years ago.
8:23 Yadier Molina visits the mound AGAIN. Anthony Reyes is obviously rattled.
8:24 Carlos Guillen singles to right! Craig Monroe scores! Juan Encarnacion commits an error! Runners move up to second and third! No one saw any of this happening!
8:31 All these people in the stands with elaborate cat facepaint are creeping me out.
8:32 Scott Rolen homers, making it 1-1. Dear Scott: Are you and Tony speaking now?? Because the media is, like, REALLY concerned about this!
8:46 Catch up on some Page 2. I kind of have a huge crush on contributor DJ Gallo.
8:50 Chris Duncan again? Who is this guy?
8:50 (still) Two-run blast by Albert Pujols makes the score 4-1. Why did they pitch to him?
8:52 Camera zooms in on Verlander walking off the mound, mouthing the f-word, much like the entire population of Detroit.
9:07 Can someone explain the Tony La Russa sunglasses thing to me?
9:11 Strikeout #6 for Verlander. If only he didn't have those four earned runs.
9:12 My brother wants to go out for ice cream. I’m not arguing.
9:55 “… 7 to 1? WHAT THE %#*@ HAPPENED??!!”
11:00 Anthony Reyes: "I don't know if I can top this."
...Yeah, neither do I.
posted by Pam at 12:07 AM
1 Comments:
Oh my god, that DJ guy? Cannot. Stop. Laughing. Fantastic.
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