i really think he just didn't want to move

Earlier this year, my thesis advisor accused me of being a Barry Zito fangirl. (He was right, as people who hold doctorates from Harvard often are.)

My irrational fangirly love of #75 thus admitted, the seven-year, $126 million deal that he signed with the Giants today might just be one of the dumbest things I've ever heard of.

Yes, he's got a Cy Young award. Yes, he's got three All-Star appearances to his name. Yes, he led the A's rotation admirably over the last two years, and yes, he's, like, so totally adorable. But Zito's worth $7m or $8m a year, tops. With the free agent market being what it was this offseason, he could have reasonably commanded $11m. But $18m a year? Pedro Martinez has never topped $17.5m per, and he's Pedro Freaking Martinez.

This isn't meant as a knock on Zeet; it's a knock on the idiot who's actually willing to give him that much money. I've long maintained that Brian Sabean is one of the worst GMs in baseball today, and this goes a long way towards proving it. Not only does he drastically overpay for Zito, but he's wasting money -- the Giants are greyer than my premature Lily Munster streak (which I am currently ridding myself of, thanks to Miss Clairol), and they've got maybe one year before everything starts to break down. Zito will turn into the Miguel Tejada of the future -- an ex-Oakland player with a fat contract on a very bad team.

On a lighter note, I'd pay good money to witness the first clubhouse meeting between Barry Zito and Barry Bonds, almost as much money as I'd pay to see Beyonce Knowles and Tyra Banks engage in a fierce weave-off.

of bullpens and purses

Sox get Donnelly from Angels for Seibel

This is sort of like that time I went to Macy's with a whole bunch of coupons and walked out with the cutest Fossil hobo bag on Earth. The price tag read "$188," but I only paid $23.49. I don't think I've ever been prouder of anything in my entire life.* Basically, Brendan Donnelly is Theo Epstein's cute new Fossil hobo bag, with the main difference being that I didn't blow three months' pay on a Fendi immediately beforehand. And just like I trust my hobo bag to hold my wallet and my cell phone and my glasses and my lip gloss without fail, Theo should trust Brendan Donnelly to hold together the Sox 'pen in the coming season.

In short, well done, Sox management. May Brendan Donnelly serve you as well as my hobo bag has served me.

* -- except for that one time I made it from Boston to Palmer, MA on the Mass Pike in 58 minutes without getting pulled over

B is for 野球

Well, the deal is done. Six years, $52 million for Daisuke Matsuzaka. I am ecstatic. Maybe Dice-K (I refuse to call him "D-Mat") won't be completely lights out, maybe his adjustment to life in the States will take a significant amount of time, but I have a good feeling about this guy. Plus, his blood is Type O, which, by Japanese standards, makes him a warrior! (Anyone interested in that bizarre New York Times article can check it out here.) And the 2007 Red Sox starting rotation will be loaded, providing plenty of protection for Matsuzaka:

Curt Schilling
Josh Beckett
Jonathan Papelbon
Dice-K
Tim Wakefield
Jon Lester (?)

Looks good to me.

So, $52 million is a lot of money for anyone. It'll get you a more than comfortable living situation and certain luxuries that the average person only dreams of. But Daisuke doesn't have to worry about all that. While at Boston Beerworks for the Seahawks-49ers game last night (sitting amongst several Japanese journalists and the amusing drunk girls hitting on them), a graphic popped up on the NESN screen. It looked something like this...

Other contract benefits

• physical therapist
• massage therapist
• interpreter
• personal assistant
• a total of 80 to 90 flights over the course of the contract
• special transportation
• living accommodations for Matsuzaka and his wife

Wow. I would take any and all of those things... though I'm partial to the massage therapist.

But welcome to Boston, Dice-K. Enjoy Fenway Park, the never-ending media coverage, a fan base that adores you, and dedicated teammates, one who is learning Japanese. The only thing I ask is that you ditch the puffy black jacket with fur trim. Maybe the Sox brass can add "fashion advisor" to your contract perks?

Wear your TEAM COLORS with pride

You may have noticed our little slogan in the header mentions the "pink-shirt stereotype." Well, someone has finally written about it.

Yes, Mary Buckheit. YES.

In my opinion, the following quotes from two of Buckheit's friends perfectly sum up the "problem."

"I'm not one to stereotype -- OK, maybe I am -- but a pink jersey shows the world that you are not actually a fan, since you either don't know your team's colors, or worse, you just don't understand the importance of wearing them."

and

"Sometimes girls wear pink to support the cause of breast cancer awareness, but in most cases the pink signifies, 'I know absolutely nothing about football (or any sport), but I like dudes and I have loose morals. Please buy me a drink.'"

I enjoyed this piece immensely. Hooray for Page 2, female sports columnists, and putting an end to this sports apparel abomination.

Happy Holidays from MLB agents and GM's

I would have written about this yesterday but I was so angry that I couldn't bring myself to do so.

"Unless he's being less than honest," one source said, "there isn't going to be a deal."

You have GOT to be kidding me. No one will be happy if this deal doesn't go through: The Seibu Lions won't get their $51.1 million, Matsuzaka won't get his pay raise this year, and the Sox will be without a new quality starter. I just... really... do not like Scott Boras. Neither does Boston Dirt Dogs, apparently.

Other things that make me angry...

• Ted Lilly's contract with the Cubs. I thought the Juan Pierre business was ridiculous. Now we have a #3-ish starter getting 4 years/$40 million. Pull-eeze.
• Julio Lugo to the Sox. I thought you were trying to make this a classy organization, John Henry et al. While we're at it, why don't we just sign Brett Myers and Dmitri Young, too?
  
• Barry Bonds' 1 year/$16 million contract. This sickens me. You know they signed him because The Barry Drama will fill seats. Stupid profit greedy organization. That makes it okay to employ the target of a federal steroid investigation, huh? Let's not forget that within a year, this guy could very well break Hank Aaron's record. And as hilarious as it would be for Bud Selig to shake Bonds' hand on the field, telling the world that performance enhancing drug use is a-okay if you want to get ahead in life, I'd rather not see it.
  
• The Royals sign Octavio Dotel. The guy pitched a whopping 10 innings last season and certainly isn't worth $5 million per year plus incentives. However. The interesting part of this story would have to be the Red Sox's involvement. According to reports, the Sox offered Dotel a contract and were outbid by Kansas City. (I shit you not. Go back and read that again.) Hi, Theo and friends? We need relief pitching. And you let the Kansas fricken City Royals outbid you? Oh, the shaaaame.

That's enough gross stuff for one post. In more positive news, David Ortiz received his fourth straight Edgar Martinez Outstanding Designated Hitter Award. And (you're never going to believe this one!!) Ortiz also hopes Manny will remain with the Red Sox this season. Anyone else experiencing deja vu?

tidbits and tadbits

The Chickball ladies are currently s.t.ressed with final papers and projects and presentations. However, some very short commentary on today's winter meeting events.

1. Nothing to do with winter meetings, but Jon Lester has been cleared as cancer-free, with one remaining treatment on Dec. 21. He'll be able to be at the beginning of spring training. Commentary: YAY. No one so young should have cancer.

2. Sox to get Julio Lugo for $36 million for 4 years.
Commentary: Que whaaaa? I don't want a wife-beater on my team. I don't care how badly we need an SS.

3. Sox to get JD Drew for $70 million for 5 years.
Commentary: If he can stay healthy, this could be a big help. I'm gonna miss Trot, though, because, well, you just can't beat a name like "Trot." But three big bats in the lineup, 3-4-5? There's just no arguing with that.

4. The Manny debate - will they keep him or not?
Commentary: How many years have they shopped him in the offseason now? Why does the media still think that he's going to be gone until the actual end of his contract? Now, because I said that, something crazy will probably happen and I better not have jinxed it. We can't afford to have Manny go anywhere.

5. Maddux to Padres for $10 million.
Commentary: I was sad when Maddux left the Braves, because I'd always seen him as a Brave growing up. But to be with the Cubs was sort-of okay since he'd been with them before I was old enough to remember baseball... now with these weird Dodger/Padre random trades for half seasons and single seasons, I'm really weirded out and also sad, because that means that once again I am getting old and so are my childhood baseball players.

There could probably be a lot more to comment on all of these moments, so feel free. I just have to get back to work.