The End.

Ok, I've been MIA for a while. Mostly because the Red Sox and I are not on speaking terms and I've kind of isolated myself from Major League Baseball because it's... just too painful to follow. (Instead, how bout that Andre Agassi?) But I shall remain silent no longer, after receiving the following IM from my friend Rob this evening:

"Sweet! We got (another) catcher who can't hit for Wells!"

Now, I first read this as "We got (another) catcher who can't hit to catch for Wells." Not "for Wells." Not "in exchange for Wells." Call me crazy, call me an overreacting fan, but the Red Sox just officially gave up on their season. To me, Wells was a ray of hope on the team. When he took the mound, I'd think, "Well, the Sox actually have a chance to (*gasp*) win tonight." He was arguably our most consistent pitcher and I kept thinking that if Wakefield et al came off the DL soon-ish, we could potentially make a September surge and at least compete for a playoff spot. Now? Nope. When Julian Tavarez is starting the game, you know Tito's all like, "Well fuck. It doesn't fucking matter at this point." (Yes, I said Julian Tavarez. JULIAN TAVAREZ started tonight. You can't make this stuff up.) It's completely ridiculous to me how the front office has reacted to this Varitek situation by acquiring mediocre catcher after mediocre catcher, as if someone will just magically click with the young pitching staff and be the answer to all our prayers. Please. This team overacheived a good amount of the season (thanks to the Orioles and National League) and after a string of injuries to key players, the shit hit the fan. Finally.

It's very telling when I, the uber baseball fan, am looking forward to the NHL starting up. At least then I won't have to wake up to Dennis and Callahan on WEEI talking about how Theo Epstein should be fired at the end of the season. Oy.

Dear reader(s),

I apologize for my long absence. Things have been a little too insane for words, but that has nothing to do with the Chickball blog. Below, for your reading pleasure...

There is nothing like an evening at Fenway. I grew up with the Astrodome, I've spent many games at Minute Maid Park, and I've been to games at other stadiums, including the famed Yankee Stadium. But there's nothing like an evening at Fenway. It's not even necessarily for the baseball - it's the atmosphere, the environment, the sense of place. It's the ultimate summertime experience. Win or lose (even 15-2, like one of the games I went to this summer), going to a game at Fenway is an experience that can't be beat.

But.

But if there's a way to overdose on baseball, I managed to do it this summer. I spent essentially every single night of May through July watching the Sox games, and somehow in the midst of those three months, the fun just wasn't there anymore. Granted, in July, I was living in an apartment that consisted of a camping chair, a tv, and a tupperware bin, so there wasn't much else to do, but still. I love baseball. I nearly lose my friends and nearly fail my midterms every year in October. But this year, by mid-August, I just couldn't get myself to turn on the television anymore. It had lost its fun, its pleasure, its innocent naivite, its ability to divert my thoughts from everything else.

But.

But I spent time at some of baseball's best moments this summer, too. Those were the moments in which the innocence had yet to be taken away from the pureness and the boyishness that baseball is always meant to be. At the Cape League game, there were a bunch of age 20ish guys trying to prove that someday, they might be able to play this game that they've been playing all their childhood as more than just a game. But for these guys, the game is still a game. It's a summer "job," as they play every day and of course its not easy and there's tons of pressure, but it's still a game, and if they don't cut it or decide it's not for them, they still have another year or two of college to finish up and get out there into the real world in whatever they might find more suitable.

At the Triple A game in Pawtucket, of course there were the typical 20ish-es that were trying to prove themselves, but what you really noticed were the guys in their mid-30s who were still playing the game. In triple A. There's no way these guys are ever going to make it to the bigs for more than maybe a couple games here and there in place of an injured players, but there they are, still busting their butts every day to play triple A ball for the measley minor league pay. Now I know there are at least some of them who have other jobs for the regular year, but still. These men come back, every summer, to play a game that deep down, is a game meant for boys. These men never lost that boyishness, and somehow, that's just so refreshing in today's world of corporate ladders and racing to get ahead.

Watching the Little League World Series, you got to see the kids play and love and be the kids they are meant to be, but on a bigger and better stage than most of those kids would have ever expected to play. They were really cute. And mostly innocent.

But.

But baseball is still my favorite sport, because of the previous three stories. Even in the majors, where the steroids and the money and the craziness flow like honey (except maybe more negative honey than sweet honey), in the end all of these guys are playing this game because they never lost that boyhood innocence and charm, and they're just giving us our childhood dreams and memories back for us to remember and enjoy.

nota bene to our readers

Sorry for the lack of updates around these parts -- we've all been too depressed (Suzie) or busy with real-life grown-up activities (everyone else) to do much. The Red Sox are in a tailspin, my A's hat is gathering some weird looks, and Emily is salivating at the very prospect of football in just a few short weeks.

All of us Chickballistas are gearing up for our fourth and final year at Boston University, and we might be out of commission until just after Labor Day Weekend. But don't despair, darling readers (all seven* of you) -- we'll be back in action with a Very Special Edition of Chickball, answering one of baseball's burning questions: Like, how totally dreamy is Mark Mulder?

You only wish I were kidding.


* -- I may have counted Manton twice

the expected post-o-melodrama

I'm not even all that capable of talking about it.

Right now, I'm sitting around in sweatpants and listening to the The Virgin Suicides soundtrack on repeat, staring at my 2004 World Champions hat and wondering if that playoff run was seriously less than two years ago. I didn't even bother watching the game today; I knew the outcome as soon as Jorge Posada added insult to injury in the 10th last night. Beth and I didn't even bother sticking around for this one; we left during the rain delay and spent our hard-earned dollars on tickets to Snakes on a Plane. Wise decision, no? But that's a story for another time.

This feels like a nasty, slow breakup, right down to the wardrobe and the music choice. Realizing that your favorite team couldn't win a game with a step-by-step manual right now is like finding out that your boyfriend's just cheated on you for the eighth time in a year -- it hurts like hell and you're not really sure what to do with yourself, but you knew the track record and you were kinda expecting this all along. You try to rebound, but whether it's with other guys or the Oakland Athletics, it's not the same.

I don't even care that it was the Yankees. The 2006 Red Sox shouldn't be losing five games in a row to any team. But the bullpen's about as solid as Maurice Clarett's sanity, and playing musical catchers hasn't helped matters; the bulletproof closer's got a bad case of dead-arm, and I don't even want to look at the Boston papers' sports sections right now.

The parents say that this is what 1978 felt like, the summerlong collapse and crushing inevitability; I believe it. I've been a Red Sox fan since Day One, but I can't remember a time during which I was this dismissive of and disappointed in my team. I've never given up before. I've never left a game before the last out, and I've never flipped on the TV and opted for the Little League World Series and reruns of MTV's Parental Control over a Red Sox-Yankees matchup. Knowing when following every out of a game is potentially detrimental to your health and opting to use your time more wisely -- I guess this is what being a casual fan is like.

And it sucks.

But watching baseball isn't fun right now.

OH. MY. GOD.

I think the best thing to do when you're more than 10 games out of any sort of playoff contention is to trade a dependable infielder for a minor league catcher. I'm sure nothing bad will come from this. I mean, the Cubs lineup has so much depth and strength! Besides, how many more games can we lose?

I honestly think Hendry did this to screw over the White Sox. Seriously. Think about it. Neifi goes to Detroit, the Sox are asleep already, it's a no-sweat finish to the regular season for the Tigers. The "enemy of my enemy is my friend" kind of thing. But you know what? I think it's pretty cool that some team in Chicago wins once in a while. I won't purport to be a fan of the Sox, but I think it's pretty okay that they are reviving baseball in Chicago as more than an excuse to get drunk and stupid and fall down bleachers.

Seriously though. Neifi was a pretty good player. He didn't always hit, when he did it wasn't particularly fantastic, but he was dependable on the infield. In his place is a (can you guess?) minor leaguer! Which, if you've been counting, makes the Cubs total line up about 75% minor guys. Actually, that was a ballpark figure, but it couldn't be too far off. Hendry is definitely in a counting-chickens-hoping-they-hatch mode, and while that may be fine and dandy for the future, we're playing like crap in the present. So they'll fire Dusty, who's actually doing the best he can with the dregs that he gets from Hendry, and the Cubs will not improve and they will sit at the bottom of the division for many many more years of heatbreak and sorrow.

Is it masochistic to be a Cubs and a Red Sox fan? I think so. I've given up on the Cubs, the BoSox were doing so well and now they are slumping, and I find myself utterly giving up on baseball. Thank God pre-season football has started already. I'll be able to drown my sports sorrows in Bears games very very soon.

***Edit: the boys over at CubDumb don't agree with me. We shall see. We shall see.

take that, braveheart: how to hijack a broadcast booth

Edit: YouTube footage has been found! Suzie's friend Maggie kinda rules.

Tonight's Red Sox-Tigers matchup will go down as one of the funniest things I've ever seen -- and it's not over yet.

I'm hoping for YouTube of this by tomorrow -- or at least a transcript -- but comedians Lenny Clarke and Denis Leary were in the NESN booth for a few half-innings, plugging Leary's various charitable organizations and upcoming events. Everything was the so-so vague comedic schtick you'd expect -- until someone asked about Red Sox 1B Kevin Youkilis' ancestry and either Jerry Remy or Don Orsillo pointed out that Youk's Jewish.

Leary and Clarke proceeded to go absolutely apeshit with glee and completely laid the verbal smackdown on Mel Gibson for about five solid minutes. Highlights include --

"Where's Mel Gibson? REHAB! Where's Kevin Youkilis? FIRST BASE! Take that, Braveheart!"

"By the time Mel's outta rehab, I want an ALL-JEWISH INFIELD!"

"We got two Jews on this team, Mel. Youk and Kapler should ask to be in his next movie."

"Ask Jeffrey Katzenberg for a job when you get out, Mel!"

Remy and Orsillo just gave up and let Leary and Clarke take over the booth while they laughed hysterically in the wings. I don't care if it's overplayed. Mocking Mel Gibson will never not be funny as all hell.

(I was waiting for either Leary or Clarke to bust out with a "sugartits" reference, but no such luck.)

Lowell, the Sawx, A-Rod, and Seth Mnookin

Kudos to Mike Lowell for having a phenomenal weekend. Friday, after getting hit in the head by a pitch, Lowell made a ridiculous catch in foul territory, landing on his back in the stands; hit an RBI single in the third inning; and then stole third base, subsequently scoring on a Javy Lopez single. He went 2 for 4 Saturday, scoring a run. And Sunday, Lowell hit a first-inning grand slam and then ended the game with a great play at third, bailing out the struggling Papelbon. Kind of ridiculous.

*****

I've been trying to put my finger on why, exactly, this Red Sox team doesn't "feel right" this season... and I think it's because (with the exception of David Ortiz) there's no real standout player. Additionally, there isn't that one crazy guy who simultaneously evokes smiles and head shaking. There's no outspoken player who we have a love/hate relationship with. There's no one who gives us goosebumps when he emerges from the dugout or bullpen. I know everyone's thinking, "What about Jonathan Papelbon?!" and okay, that's a fair rebuttal. Papelbon arguably reached Goosebumps Status earlier this season but with the absence of Varitek, he's clearly showing signs of mortality and isn't so lights-out anymore. So who do we have? Youkilis occasionally shows fits of anger and enthusiasm on the field but... meh. Lowell and Gonzalez continue to astound us with great defensive plays but those have become the norm. Captain Varitek is out and wasn't exactly thrilling fans with offensive heroics earlier in the season. I haven't warmed up to Loretta, Pena, or Beckett yet. Our pitching staff has been less than stellar, Coco hasn't become beloved in the way Damon was, and Manny hasn't really been Manny as in years past (which might be a good thing, depending on your perspective). I dunno. I just don't feel a bond with this team like I used to. When I see interviews with players or read articles about the team, I don't find myself smiling and thinking, "God, I love these guys." Do they have passion for the game? Do they appreciate the fans? Do they even like each other? I'm not so sure. Hmm.

*****

I thought this was interesting. Curious what everyone else thinks about Eric Neel's A-Rod theory.

*****

Finished Seth Mnookin's Feeding the Monster this weekend. Here's my mini review: Mnookin gives some good background on the history of the Red Sox organization, particularly highlighting instances of heartbreak, and then launches into the John Henry era. His sections on Henry, Tom Werner, and Larry Lucchino were engrossing and I enjoyed reading about the new ownership, how they bought the team, how they put together the front office, and how much Henry hated Grady Little. (It's nice to know that someone so closely bound to the organization felt nothing short of "rage" during the infamous Grady/Pedro/Game 7 2003 incident.) Also enjoyable was the space Mnookin devoted to criticizing Larry Lucchino, discussing Kevin "I'm a huge pain in the ass" Millar, and shitting on Dan Shaughnessy. I read the first half of the book like it was a suspense novel ("Will they win it all??!!") but things slowed down considerably after that. Mnookin beat us over the head with "Theo and Larry's relationship was deteriorating at a rapid pace!!!1" but never explains why and how it was able to be repaired (if it ever was) in the end. I also grew tired of the footnotes. (Hi, I'm reading a book about baseball so I think you can safely assume I know what an RBI is. Thanks.) On a related note, I really could not figure out who the target audience was. If it's Red Sox fans, do we really need all the historical background? If it's baseball fans in general, are idiot-proof footnotes necessary? And if it's the casual reader, the talk of sabremetrics is a bit much. Overall, Feeding the Monster proved a decent read but it wasn't quite what I'd hoped for.

*****

And since everyone's making MLB final standings predictions right now, here are mine...

American League
East: Boston Red Sox
Central: Detroit Tigers
West: Oakland A's
Wild Card: Minnesota Twins

National League
East: New York Mets
Central: Cincinnati Reds
West: LA Dodgers
Wild Card: San Diego Padres

(So maybe I've made some risky choices. But I really think the White Sox will choke, the Red Sox will beat out the Yanks, the Twins will dominate over the next month and a half, and the Reds will overcome the Cards, who are looking ehh. We'll see...)

EDIT (8/20/06): Well, now that the Red Sox and I are no longer on speaking terms, I might have to change my AL East prediction to They-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. Hmph.

monday roundup

As many of you may know, I am a huge fan of Deadspin, along with its affiliates -- Gawker Media totally owns my life and I'm not ashamed to admit that, even though I probably should be. It's up there with The Dugout and the Chickball Gmail account (hint, readers) on the list of things I must check before actually deciding to join the rest of the human race each morning. Deadspin comes before coffee, it comes before my granola bars, and sometimes, it even comes before LiveJournal. *gasp*

And this, my friends, is why:

Twins center fielder Torii Hunter microwaves his glove for 30 seconds if he fails to make a play the night before. After an error, it's two minutes. "That's punishment [for the glove]," Hunter said. "You do something bad, you go to hell."

Jesus H. Christ on a saltine cracker, man. Torii Hunter is goddamn crazy -- if he keeps this up, he might join Carlosaurus Rex, The Chicken Man, and Ryan "Say Hello to My Leetle Friend" Freel in the Cooperstown Rehabilitation Center for the Terminally Ridiculous.

And will someone please, for the love of all that is holy, think of the glove?

*

Rich Harden takes recovery step, plays catch for five minutes -- San Jose Mercury News, 8/11/06

"I'm definitely headed in the right direction right now,'' he said. "I'm closer to my ultimate goal, which is to be back in the game and play. But I don't know how I'm going to feel next week or the week after that. So I don't want to get too far ahead of myself. You never know what's going to happen or how you'll feel.''

Okay, Richie. I love you. I know that. You know that. The federal government probably knows that. You are my Canadian rockstar baseball boyfriend who would rather be playing forward for the Canucks and I would totally take up outdoor winter sports for you. But bro? I thought that was a SportsPickle headline. Five minutes? Was that as long as they let you rent Melhuse for? Did you not feel like putting more quarters in the Catching Machine? BE A MAN.

...unless, of course, Being A Man causes your arm to fall off. Again.

*

The Boston Red Sox and I are on speaking terms again, after their weekend sweep of the hapless Poorioles. Josh Beckett goes up against the Tigers' Nate Robertson at Fenway as the Sox try to pull even with the Yankees in the AL East race.

insanity in all corners

When I fell asleep last night, the Boston Red Sox were still beating the K(AAAA)nsas City Royals 4-3.

That? Didn't work out so well.

*

In other news, Maurice Clarett is still batshit insane.

Police said officers found an arsenal of weapons inside the SUV, including a loaded AK-47-type rifle and three loaded handguns. A hatchet, clothing and an open bottle of vodka were also taken from the vehicle, police said.

Y'all, WHAT? I've got nothing.

(Not even a hatchet.)

The state of the AL East

While Red Sox Nation enters the all-too-familiar territory known as "panic," the Yankees have reverted to their superior selves, the Blue Jays are losing hope (again), the Orioles have all but given up on their season, and the Devil Rays sit comfortably in last place, per usual. Silly me for thinking the Sox could cruise through August and September with a nice four-game cushion or something equally satisfying. That whole lack of pitching thing has finally caught up with the team, and a plethora of injuries isn't helping. Here's the state of the American League East and how the teams can expect to finish.

Tampa Bay Devil Rays

There's much excitement over prospect B.J. Upton getting called up from AAA Durham. Only that could truly lessen the blow of losing Julio Lugo to the Dodgers. Okay, so they didn't technically lose him but as one of the best offensive shortstops in the game, he'll be tough to replace. On the flip side, the Rays really couldn't afford to hold onto Lugo after this season so it's just as well they made a trade now. As for the rest of the team, Rocco Baldelli's triumphant return has been marred with soreness and bruises. Right bicep, right hamstring, etc, etc. He'll most likely sit out a game here and there the rest of the season. On a more positive note, Scott Kazmir is slated to make his first start off the DL this Friday. That should give my fantasy team a nice little boost.

Bottom line: When you're 21 games out of first place... um, yeah. The team's mindset at this point should be, "Well, maybe for the second time in our nine-year existence, we can finish fourth! Hey, anything can happen!"

Baltimore Orioles

Kris Benson is on the DL. Kevin Millar is their DH. (Ha!) And the pitching staff is positively atrocious. Why they continue to start Russ Ortiz (0-7 with a 9.86 ERA, after giving up six runs in four innings today) is beyond me. Their offense is mediocre at best (that could very well be the understatement of the year) with good ol' Miggy Tejada the only player on their active roster batting above .300. And just when you thought it couldn't get any worse, they have two of the ugliest guys in the history of Major League Baseball playing for them. (That would be Jay Gibbons and Chris Britton.)

Bottom line: The D-Rays could easily overcome them in the standings, which would be quite the eye opener. The organization really needs to assess what the hell is going on because, in addition to the team sucking in general, players are leaving and smack talking the front office with no remorse. (See: Sidney Ponson and Javy Lopez, to name two.) Peter Angelos is running the team into the ground, unwilling to put money into the organization, which will ultimately prove a fatal error with the Nationals nearby. After the Senators moved to Texas, many fans refused to latch on to the Orioles and there's no telling what will happen to their somewhat fickle fanbase if the team doesn't attempt to be more competitive.

Toronto Blue Jays

The Jays were tagged as the team to beat in the AL East this year and pretty much flew under the radar the entire season. All of a sudden, they're 9.5 games out of first and no longer a concern (if they ever really were). Roy Halladay and B.J. Ryan are forces to be reckoned with but A.J. Burnett's 3-5 record has been a huge disappointment. Lucky for them, the outfielders have stepped up tremendously with Frank Catalanatto, Alex Rios, Reed Johnson, and Vernon Wells all batting well above .300. You go, guys.

Bottom line: It's only early August so yeah, anything could happen. But without any major trades (they were said to be pushing for Julio Lugo at the deadline) and "Everyone's favorite cologne-promoting pitcher Gustavo Chacin has just one more rehab stint to go!" being the most positive thing on the radar, it's unlikely the team will make a big push for first. Shea Hillenbrand is surely pleased with the overall results of his John Gibbons voodoo doll.

Boston Red Sox

Lots of discouraging losses, a few unlikely wins, and too much uncertainty for fans to simply brush off those two games back. The Sox are scrambling to find a reliable replacement for the injured captain Jason Varitek and went through five catchers last week, calling on Ken Huckaby from AAA Pawtucket, acquiring Javy Lopez, and finally adding minor leaguer Corky Miller after Doug Mirabelli twisted his ankle on Friday (definitely the "What the HELL?!" moment of the week). Pitching continues to be an issue. One of the more disconcerting things I've read recently: The last starter to record a victory besides Curt Schilling was Josh Beckett on July 24. Yes, as in two weeks ago. (Speaking of Beckett, he's looking a lot like Matt Clement these days...) Another point of concern: Jason Johnson, Kason Gabbard, David Wells, David Pauley, Lenny DiNardo, and Kyle Snyder have given the Sox a combined three wins from the No. 4-5 slot of the rotation. *gag*

Bottom line: Terry Francona needs to stop putting in waste-0f-space Julian Tavarez if he wants to, you know, win occasionally. (I really thought this would be a given by now but whatever.) And expecting the offense to carry the team to the playoffs, for David Ortiz to continue his late-inning heroics, is unrealistic. If I were Theo, I'd be freaking out right now.

New York Yankees

Those pesky Yanks are in first again and is anyone really surprised? They've remained surprisingly competitive despite a number of injuries and a mediocre pitching staff (yet another indication that George Steinbrenner must have sold his soul to the devil years ago). Kyle Farnsworth, Randy Johnson, and Sidney Ponson (to name a few) have been disappointing but the offense has stepped up. Even Cory Lidle, a laughable part of the Bobby Abreu deal, turned into fricken Cy Young in his first start with the team, giving up just one run over six innings. (Yup. These things always seem to happen to the Yankees.) Derek Jeter is having yet another stellar season, and rumors are circulating that Gary Sheffield will return from the DL in September. He's even offering to switch positions to make room for Abreu. (What? We are talking about Gary Sheffield here, correct?)

Bottom line: The Yankees are always a threat. They'll be neck and neck with the Sox right up to the end and either claim the AL East title or settle for the Wild Card. (The Tigers aren't letting up and the White Sox are slowly slipping, so it's likely the Wild Card spot will yet again go to an AL East team.) One ray of hope does exist for opposing teams: Yanks fans will continue to boo A-Rod (who, by the way, has more RBIs and homeruns than Jeter), plunging him further into depression and causing him to sever ties with his mental performance coach, something that would critically impact his game. Without all those clutch hits he's been getting, the Yanks couldn't possibly make it far into the playoffs.

Wait... DAMMIT.

She took the ball and ran with it

“When I started, the press credentials said 'No women or children in the press box.' ... There are a lot of things in the workplace that you can attempt to hide, and I could not hide the fact that I was a woman. I was always the only woman in the press box, and they didn't even have ladies rooms.”

After 30 years on the beat, trailblazer Visser is honored by the NFL Hall of Fame. This makes me so happy. For those who don't know, Lesley Visser is my idol, a role model and inspiration. One day, curled up on the couch and watching an NFL game with my dad, I saw a woman reporting on the sideline and sat bolt upright. "Who's that?" I asked my father, my heart skipping a beat as I realized she was a legitimate sports reporter for a major television network. A girl. A sports reporter. I was 11 years-old, dabbling in journalism for the first time, and finding it difficult to be one of two female sports fans in my grade. I received strange looks upon wearing my new Curtis Martin jersey to school. I positively ached for someone to ask if I'd seen the Pats game this weekend or, once springtime rolled around, what I thought of the Red Sox bullpen. (Ah yes, those were the days of Vaughn Eshelman and Aaron Sele...) And there was Lesley Visser on TV, proving to me that girls who knew their stuff could break into that male-dominated realm.

So cool.

Congratulations, Lesley. Maybe when I make it as an ESPN producer, I'll dig up that "Who is your hero and why?" essay I wrote in sixth grade and send it off with a thank you note.

Mock mock mock

From the Onion:

Experts: 'Derek Jeter Probably Didn't Need To Jump To Throw That Guy Out'
August 3, 2006 Onion Sports

BRISTOL, CT—Baseball experts agreed Sunday that Derek Jeter, who fielded a routine ground ball during a regular-season game in which the Yankees were leading by five runs and then threw it to first base using one of his signature leaps, did not have to do that to record the out. "If it had been a hard-hit grounder in the hole or even a slow dribbler he had to charge, that would've been one thing," analyst John Kruk said during a broadcast of Baseball Tonight. "But when it's hit right to him by [Devil Rays first-baseman] Greg Norton, a guy who has no stolen bases and is still suffering the effects of a hamstring injury sustained earlier this year… Well, that's a different story." Jeter threw out Norton by 15 feet and pumped his fist in celebration at the end of the play.

The Injury Report

Ooooh jeez. This is a really bad time for the Red Sox to turn into the Yankees.

(And by "turn into the Yankees," I of course mean "have half the roster on the DL.")

Red Sox Nation received a nice slap in the face Monday night when catcher Jason Varitek left the game an inning after he rounded second base, uttered an "Oh SHIT," and proceeded to limp home on a Wily Mo Pena triple. Now he's on the DL with a torn meniscus and out for at least four to six weeks. Not good times, my friends.

And if that isn't enough, Trot Nixon is also out with a strained right bicep muscle. The injuries just keep piling up. Also on the DL: Matt Clement, Keith Foulke, Lenny Dinardo, and Tim Wakefield.

I love how two key players got injured on the day of the trade deadline. Super timing. All I have to say is, it's a damn good thing the Sox didn't use Wily Mo Pena as trade bait. But it's unfortunate that our next best option with Varitek on the DL was to call up Ken Huckaby, a guy who boasts little more than a cool last name. In 68 games this season with AAA Pawtucket, he batted .207 with two homeruns and 16 RBIs. And in the majors: 153 games and 422 at-bats, hitting .233 with three homers and 30 RBIs. Oy. Having Josh Bard around looks good right about now. Let's hope Mirabelli can hold the fort.

*****

In other news, Jeremy Shockey has taken the reins as professional football's resident idiot. During Giants press day:

"Everyone knows I drink here and everyone knows I go out and party but I take good care of my body. I take vitamins every day. I get acupuncture, massages, tons of things to keep body healthy. If I go out and drink one night, I guarantee the next day I am getting heavily replenished with water and massages. I respect my body tremendously."

Well, that's good to hear. Shockey also criticized Eli Manning and sustained a concussion the other day, which he promptly blamed on safety Will Demps. Oh, and he called Giants Coach Tom Coughlin "an ass." Looks like T.O. has some competition this season.